What do you say to someone with cancer (insert disease)?

Hearing that someone you care about has cancer can leave you at a loss for words. You may feel pressure to say the “right thing,” but what matters most is showing up with sincerity, empathy, and presence.

1. Start with Compassion and Simplicity

A heartfelt “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” can mean more than you think. You don’t need perfect words—just real ones. Avoid clichés like “Everything happens for a reason,” which can feel dismissive.

2. Let Them Lead

Everyone processes a diagnosis differently. Some want to talk about it; others don’t. Ask, “Do you feel like talking about it?” or “How can I support you right now?” Let them guide the conversation.

3. Offer Specific Help

Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try offering something concrete: “Can I bring you dinner this week?” or “Would you like me to go to your next appointment with you?” Specificity makes it easier for them to accept support.

4. Be Present—Even in Silence

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is sit with them without needing to fix anything. Your quiet presence can be a powerful form of comfort.

5. Follow Up and Stay Connected

Support is most needed after the initial wave of concern dies down. Keep checking in—whether through a text, a call, or a card. Knowing they’re not forgotten matters deeply.

Ultimately, the most healing words come from a place of love and respect. When you show up with kindness and authenticity, your presence becomes the gift.