Why we wrote “Miss You Already”

The idea for Miss You Already began with a phone call.

Staci had just been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and suddenly the future looked different. We were still having conversations, making plans, laughing, showing up for each other—and at the same time, I was already grieving.

That was the confusing part.

Nothing had ended. She was still here. Yet fear, sadness, anger, uncertainty, and a sense of loss were already moving through everything. We both realized there was very little language for that experience.

We know how to talk about grief after someone dies. But what about the grief that begins before the loss?

The grief that starts with a diagnosis. The grief of watching a parent decline. The grief of caregiving, dementia, ALS, cancer, or any moment when the future no longer looks the way you thought it would.

That experience has a name: anticipatory grief.

Once we had language for it, something shifted. Naming it did not make the situation easier, but it made it more understandable. It gave us a way to talk about the fear, sadness, guilt, hope, anger, and love that can all exist at the same time.

That became the heart of Miss You Already.

We wanted to write the book we wished we had—one that says grief doesn't always begin after someone dies, and you don't have to wait for a loss to acknowledge what you are already feeling.

We wanted to combine real stories, practical tools, and the science of grief so people navigating serious illness, caregiving, aging parents, dementia, ALS, cancer, and other major life changes could feel less alone.

Sometimes the first step toward coping is simply having the language to describe what is happening.

That is why we wrote Miss You Already: to give grief before a loss a name, a voice, and a place to belong.